About Our 1st Home Study Visit

So, a lot of you have been wondering how things went with our first home study visit this past Sunday. The important thing to know is that everything went well! At the end of the visit, the case worker said she doesn't see any reason why we wouldn't be approved but she can't officially say we're approved until after the 2nd visit. 

This visit ended up being 3 hours. First she explained some things and asked if we had any questions. Before the next visit, we need to take an online open infant adoption course and read up on trans-racial adoptions to learn more about challenges children face with that since we indicated that we're open to adopting a child of any race. We also need to think a bit more about some other things, like age range of the child we want to adopt. Turns out that without doing the waiting child program (which is adopting from the foster system), you can still end up adopting a child of any range as part of the program we're doing as long as they aren't in the foster system. The case worker gave us an example where a mother could walk into their office and say she feels like she isn't being a good parent to her 5 y/o child and wants to give her child a better life with another family.

Then the rest of time was her interviewing us, which mostly consisted of elaborating on how we answered things in all the forms we filled out. Many people don't realize how invasive the adoption process is. They really look into every aspect of your life and what your childhood was like. Here some examples:

• What are your mother and father like, how were you raised, disciplined. Did either of your parents abuse alcohol or drugs, what was the atmosphere of your home life, etc
• Has anyone in your family ever abused legal or illegal drugs, been physically or sexually assaulted - check off all that apply. Then in the choices it doesn't just list immediate family but even asks about aunts, uncles, and cousins!!!
• Who are your siblings, what do they do for a living, how many kids they have, are they married, etc
• Then there's the typical questions you'd expect - what makes your marriage strong, what kind of parent do you think your spouse will be, what are your child care plans if you both work, who will be the guardian of your child if anything happens to you, etc.

That is just a VERY small sampling of things we have to disclose. So the conversation isn't always comfortable. I had to talk about some things that I didn't really want to talk about, like my struggles with anxiety for one. Fortunately, I can honestly say I'm doing much much better in that area! Needless to say, I was mentally tired after this visit was over! 

Steve has to check his work schedule before we make our next visit appointment with the case worker. Stay tuned on the date for that. The next visit should be much easier because it will mostly be her doing a walk-through of the house/yard, talking about our health insurance, updating our financial statement if needed, and answering any questions we have about the online course and anything else we studied. 

One down, one more to go!