To the Woman Hoping for a Child During the Holidays
I know your pain. I know that with each passing year you get
more worried whether or not you’ll actually end up having children. I know how
it feels to not be part of the ‘mom club’ during holiday gatherings. Of course
your loved ones always make you feel involved but it’s still not quite the same as if you had one of your
own to run around with their cousins. Your heart is torn because while you
enjoy the silent night peacefully snuggled with your hubby, your heart longs to
hear the pitter patter of little feet and sounds of laughter as you chase your
child around the house. I know the conflicted feelings you get when a friend or
family member announces a pregnancy; you are overwhelmed with joy for them and
are so happy you’ll have another baby in your life to love on, but it’s also a
reminder that you still don’t have your own. I know that awkward feeling you
get when you feel people pity you, even though you know deep down it’s not
pity, it’s just them loving you and wanting to see your dreams fulfilled.
I know how annoyed you get when people complain about their
kids and you just want to shout “At least you have a child!” I also know how
annoyed you get when people say “Are you sure you want one?” joking around when
their child is misbehaving, or when people say “Do you want mine?” NO. No, I
don’t. I want my own!
And while we love that our families are supportive and try
to make us feel better, sometimes there’s just not anything that anyone can
say.
That is why we need to shift our eyes above to the ultimate
Comforter, Healer, and Prince of Peace. We need to immerse ourselves in His
love. Jesus is the only one who can fill our hearts completely. He knows the
desires of our hearts and wants to grant us His peace. We only need to ask for
it and believe it. We need to ask for His guidance and for Him to reveal His
will for us while we thankfully wait
for His blessings. Why? Because His timing is perfect. His will is perfect.
Even if His will does not include children of our own. If we ask him to reveal His
will for us and help us to accept His will, and still vow to serve Him, He will
bless us in other ways we can’t even imagine. So let’s not give up hope for our
waiting is not wasteful. He is working in our lives every day, building
perseverance and character in us. If we can show others that we still have
faith and love Jesus even when we’re going through difficult times, oh what a
testimony that is!
Most of the time I’m fine…most of the time. But the holidays
tougher. I know in my heart God called my husband and I to begin this adoption
journey. I just have to keep reminding myself that He is present with us on
this journey and has a perfect plan for our lives.
I wish you joy and peace over the holidays, especially if
you are waiting to be blessed with a child. Remember to spend this waiting
period wisely – in prayer and seeking God’s will for your life.
Sincerely,
A Hopeful Waiting Parent Who Understands
