Homestudy Forms Completed!

Well after taking about a month to fill out all the forms in the homestudy packet, we are finally finished! Just made copies for our records and then I'll put it in the mailbox when I get home from work tonight. Once the agency receives it, they should be calling us to schedule our first home visit.

I had an adoption dream last night; been having more of those lately! Makes me even more excited :-) We still have a lot we want to get done to the house in preparation for welcoming our future child, starting with getting the basement completely finished off so we can have more living space. Hopefully we can get that done over the summer.

We're looking forward to having our own little one and watching them play with all the cousins. He or she will has so many people loving them already <3

The Adoption Process - Abbreviated

Not everyone realizes what a lengthy process you have to go through to adopt! Below are some of the beginning phases of domestic open infant adoption in a nutshell. P.S. Most agencies nowadays only do open infant adoption (where there is communication between the child, you and the birthparents even after adoption) because it's better for the child's overall being; closed adoptions are discouraged.

1. Complete and mail in the application – This consisted of personal info, such as years we’ve been married, overview of any medical conditions, financial statement (income and expenses), waiver forms for doctors and employers to release information to the agency, copies of birth certificates, etc. A lot but not too bad. This part is done.
2. Get Fingerprinted – Obviously they want to make sure you don’t have a criminal background or any records of child abuse. We’ve now both been fingerprinted.
3. Homestudy (This is where we’re at!) – This part of the process is very extensive. The homestudy process usually takes a couple of months to complete and get approved. The agency mailed us a packet that includes lots of forms to complete, along with two home visits. The homestudy is used to really help the agency get a comprehensive picture of our life and family. We have to get medical forms, answer questionnaires, etc. It’s EXTREMELY personal; if only you could see some of the questions on the forms! But I won't go into all that. During the home visits, the case worker will interview us together and separately as well as inspect our home for safety (make sure the utilities work, that we have a room for our future child, things like that).
4. Family Profile – After the homestudy is approved, we put together a family profile scrapbook, or make one digitally and get it printed. This will include a letter to the birthmother including information about ourselves, our family, etc. We'll provide photos of us, our home, our extended family...really a snapshot of how our life is. 
5. The Waiting! The adoption agency will show our profile to any birthmother they think will could be a potential match for us. Then the birthmother can choose to meet us in person if she wishes to discuss our level of openness we're willing to agree to, how we plan to raise the child, etc. Then it's up to the birthmother to choose us or another couple/person to place her child with for adoption. From what I hear, the waiting can be the hardest part
6. The Match - Once you are officially matched, meaning the birthmother chooses you and you agree, things still aren't quite final. 
7. Placement - You'll talk to the birthmother to determine how things will go once she goes into labor. Some adoptive parents will go to the hospital right away, some will wait until the actual birth. For me, I think the labor/birth will be the scariest time for me in this process. Although the birthmother will have chosen us already, the birthparents legally cannot sign over birthrights until 72 hrs after their child has been born in NJ. Essentially, that still gives the birthparents 3 whole days after the baby is born to change their mind. We could take the baby home on day 2 and then on day 3 the parents could say they changed their mind and decided they want to raise their child. We have to be as mentally prepared for this situation as we possibly can be, because it does happen sometimes.
8. Adoption Finalization - After the birthparents have signed over birthrights and the baby is in your care, the case worker checks in a number times to see how everything is going. After about 60 days I think is when the adoption is legally finalized.

 Sooo family and friends...any questions?

Respectful Adoption Language

Turns out there are positive and negative ways to talk about adoption. Steve and I have already started using these terms. It would be much appreciated if our family and friends consider this when speaking to us about it. It helps to foster respect for the birth family and child, which is very important :-)