Humbly Waiting

Since Jacob is taking his sweet time getting ready to enter this world, it's giving me even more time to reflect on this journey as we wait in anticipation to hold him in our arms. I just feel so blessed and humbled to be on this path. For God to connect us to another woman in another state who wants us to call her baby our son is beyond what my emotions can comprehend or express. 

God has been so good to us, I can't say that enough! He is providing for us at every turn. He really is doing more than we can ask or more than we can imagine (Ephesians 3:20). God deserves all the glory for this beautiful path he's leading us on. He gave his one and only son, Jesus Christ, to this world to save us if we repent and receive him into our hearts so we can be reconciled with him after this life on earth (John 3:16-17). If you love him, listen to his guidance and obey him, you can experience his abundant blessings too!

Sometimes God's blessings aren't what we pictured they'd be. He puts desires in our heart that align with his plans for us. This is what happened with me and Steve and why we chose to adopt. If we weren't letting God guide us, we'd miss all his signs that he's with us through this. To KNOW without a doubt that this is God's doing and to RECOGNIZE all he's doing for us along the way makes my heart want to burst with gratitude and praise for him! I really can't appropriately express the feelings in words but I truly hope that each of you reading this experiences this joy. 

Our lives are about to change forever, in such a wonderful way. I'm so thankful to have Steve to embark on this new season of life with. And even more, I'm so thankful we have the Lord with us, continuing to light our path.

Family and friends, thank you so much for all you've done to bring us to Jacob. Your prayers, emotional support and financial support are amazing. We are so overwhelmed by your love and we are forever grateful. We can't wait to share the news that our little boy has arrived in the next couple of days. Thank you for walking this journey with us and for caring so much! 

In the meantime, here are some photos...

Jacob Lee will be here soon!

I just realized it's been quite some time since I've posted! Sorry about that! I just returned from a missions trip to Panama last week. I am so so so glad that I listened to God's nudging for me to go. It was my first missions trip and I was pretty anxious about not knowing quite what to expect and also that I'd be away from Steve for the longest I ever have. But, let me tell you something - where God leads, he guides and when you obey him you can expect blessings. I remember telling Steve a few years ago that I felt like there was something God wanted me to do before he blessed us with a baby. I wasn't sure what that meant at the time but now I'm pretty sure it was to go on this trip. It was a big step for me to sign up for this since I was so worried about how my anxiety would be (I know, anxiety about anxiety, crazy, right?). But leading up to the deadline to sign up for the trip God made it more and more obvious that I was supposed to go, including sermons about stepping out of the boat and getting out of your comfort zone to grow. So I signed up to go...on the last day of the deadline. And then guess what happened? About 19 days later we got the first phone call about this adoption possibility!!! I am just in awe of God's ways! The trip was great. I got the opportunity to pray over lots of girls and feel the Holy Spirit move during the conference we helped with down there. 

Time has gone so quickly with so much to do to prepare for baby's arrival. The due date is 9/10 (which is the day that Steve proposed to me) so it's only a month away, if he can hang in there until then! I can't believe how quickly time has gone by. It's continuing to be an awesome journey. So far we've been to 4 ultrasounds and I'm going to EM's dr appointment on Aug 21st. Next week she begins her weekly appointments where they'll be able to tell if she's started to dilate. 

I can't emphasize enough how amazing and strong EM is. At her last ultrasound, she told us she had something in her car for us after dinner. She bought us a diaper bag filled with all kinds of goodies - onesies, socks, blankets, a baby book and more! And she also got us a keepsake box that we can keep things in like his hospital bracelet and all. But the most special items she gave us in that bag was a huge gesture - 3 old onesies that belonged to each of her other sons. It meant so much to us, now I'm going to start tearing up thinking about it again! I'm so glad Jacob will have something that belonged to each of his brothers. 

This weekend we'll be starting to get our bags packed so we're ready when the time comes. The nursery is painted and has new carpet but we're waiting for the dresser to be delivered. Here's are some pics of the awesome painting job Steve did and the cute light switch plate he made! 

And here's the most recent ultrasound pic from July 10th. Baby was 4 lbs, 8 oz at this point and measuring in the 68th percentile.

EM wrote up her birth plan and it's been sent to the hospital already. She wants us in the delivery room and to cut the umbilical cord. She also wants the baby to go to me first so we can start skin-to-skin contact right away. As long as the hospital has an open room, they'll let us stay in it overnight while the baby is there. Once the baby is discharged we'll need to stay in PA until the paperwork is cleared with both PA and NJ so we can cross state lines with the baby. We ask that no one visit us while at the hospital so we can respect EM's time with the baby as well. Once we're discharged and in the hotel, we welcome visitors to keep us company since we'll be there for 5-10 days. 

Please continue to pray for us and the EM and the bio father. Eeeek, it's really happening! :-D

"Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails."

Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails. Proverbs 19:21

Have you ever taken the time to look back at all that has happened and realized how things fit together to get you where you are today? We make so many of our own plans but the Lord's plans for us will always triumph over our own. Steve and I have especially been seeing this lately.

Although it was heart-wrenching that I've never gotten pregnant, in a way I'm thankful because if we had a child biologically, who knows if we ever would have pursued adoption. This experience has been incredible. I really can't describe in words how much I'm in awe when I think about what God is doing for us. To think that he cares so deeply about us that he made all these things happen in our lives and the expectant mother's (EM) life so that we could be connected with each other is just amazing.

I really feel like we're supposed to share this as a testimony. Again, I can't share every detail because we want to respect the EM's privacy. So please don't ask what her name is, what her "story" is, etc. What I do want to share with you is how much of a blessing she has been to us. She is a Christian and therefore wants a Christian couple to raise her child. It amazes me how selfless she is. She is not doing this for herself; she truly wants the best for her baby and is confident that me and Steve are supposed to raise him. I say it that way because she has told us  that she prayed and sought God's guidance in all of this and really feels like God wants us to raise her child. She wants to bless a couple and help make their family complete. After talking with her about what we've all been experiencing, it's clear that God has given us both signs and reminders that we're on the right path. It's enough to give me goosebumps! Just look at the miracle that can happen when you're letting the Holy Spirit guide your decisions!

The EM has been so gracious to us. I can't even imagine what it's like to decide to place your baby for adoption. But here she is, letting God work through her, and even taking our feelings and situation into consideration. Knowing we haven't gone through pregnancy on our own, she wants us to be involved and get to experience things with her. She invited us to her 20 week ultrasound that was last week. It was amazing seeing the baby move, seeing his spine, hands, feet and adorable profile. I think what got me the most was at the end when the ultrasound tech had a profile image up of the baby and we saw him yawn! I had tears coming out and was trying so hard not to start sobbing. She let us keep all of the ultrasound photos. She even wants the doctors to put the baby on my chest as soon as he is born so we can start instantly bonding.

After the ultrasound appointment we went to dinner and even stayed talking for quite a while after we were done eating. We feel like we really click with her. She is so easy to talk to, so honest and open. I wish I could express to her how much it means to us all she is doing. I certainly will try, but words will never be enough. She is such a remarkable woman and I have so much respect for her; and not just because she wants us to raise her son, but because of the person she is. Because of how she trusts the Lord to guide her.

We'll be going to the next ultrasound appointment on June 1st. I'm really looking forward to seeing the baby and EM again so we can continue to grow our relationship.

Please continue to pray for us in this journey. Be sure to include the EM in your prayers as well. We are so grateful for your prayers, love and support! And I challenge you this week to actively notice what God is doing in your life. You will be amazed if you just take time to soak it in!

It's a Match!

As most of you already know, we've been matched with an expectant mother (aka EM)! This means that the mother picked us to parent her child and we also agree that we want to work with her. What an amazing feeling it was getting the call that someone I never met has chosen US to hand her child to and love and take care of the rest of his life!

Throughout this whole particular situation, God has made it so incredibly clear that his hand is in this. In order to respect the privacy of the EM, I won't divulge every single detail. All I can say is there are no coincidences, just his master plan!

This adoption lead came to us through networking and was very unexpected. Our friends are close friends with another couple who we met through them. The girl's mother is a legal assistant for an adoption attorney. They told her about me and Steve's hopes to adopt and a couple months later that adoption attorney was approached by another attorney who has a client looking to make an adoption plan. They didn't have any active clients on file already who met the EM's requirements so the legal assistant thought of us and reached out. And wow are we sure glad she did reach out to us! The EM's requirements were that the adoptive parents be Christians who are active in their faith and church, are childless, and married at least 5 years. She also had common interests that Steve and I share. 

The next day, we dropped off our profile book to the legal assistant and it was shown to the EM that following Wednesday. I was so anxious on Wed and into Thursday until we finally got a call - the EM chose us! She looked at the profiles of 6 couples and chose us! I was at work when I got the call and went into an empty office to take the call. Emotions overwhelmed me. I started crying, my heart was racing, and so many thoughts going through my head! Then I got to call Steve and give him the news. We are just both thrilled and are in amazement. We thought we'd end up waiting 2-3 years so this happened sooner than we thought it would! 

Things have been moving quickly since then. Lots of things to get in place and lots of paperwork. We got to speak to the EM on the phone that following Monday night and just met her for the first time in person tonight. Things feel more real with each step! I'll write a separate post with more info :-)

So thankful for all the people involved in helping us to make this connection! You know who you are!

To the Woman Hoping for a Child During the Holidays

To the Woman Hoping for a Child During the Holidays

I know your pain. I know that with each passing year you get more worried whether or not you’ll actually end up having children. I know how it feels to not be part of the ‘mom club’ during holiday gatherings. Of course your loved ones always make you feel involved but it’s still not quite the same as if you had one of your own to run around with their cousins. Your heart is torn because while you enjoy the silent night peacefully snuggled with your hubby, your heart longs to hear the pitter patter of little feet and sounds of laughter as you chase your child around the house. I know the conflicted feelings you get when a friend or family member announces a pregnancy; you are overwhelmed with joy for them and are so happy you’ll have another baby in your life to love on, but it’s also a reminder that you still don’t have your own. I know that awkward feeling you get when you feel people pity you, even though you know deep down it’s not pity, it’s just them loving you and wanting to see your dreams fulfilled.

I know how annoyed you get when people complain about their kids and you just want to shout “At least you have a child!” I also know how annoyed you get when people say “Are you sure you want one?” joking around when their child is misbehaving, or when people say “Do you want mine?” NO. No, I don’t. I want my own!

And while we love that our families are supportive and try to make us feel better, sometimes there’s just not anything that anyone can say.

That is why we need to shift our eyes above to the ultimate Comforter, Healer, and Prince of Peace. We need to immerse ourselves in His love. Jesus is the only one who can fill our hearts completely. He knows the desires of our hearts and wants to grant us His peace. We only need to ask for it and believe it. We need to ask for His guidance and for Him to reveal His will for us while we thankfully wait for His blessings. Why? Because His timing is perfect. His will is perfect. Even if His will does not include children of our own. If we ask him to reveal His will for us and help us to accept His will, and still vow to serve Him, He will bless us in other ways we can’t even imagine. So let’s not give up hope for our waiting is not wasteful. He is working in our lives every day, building perseverance and character in us. If we can show others that we still have faith and love Jesus even when we’re going through difficult times, oh what a testimony that is!

Most of the time I’m fine…most of the time. But the holidays tougher. I know in my heart God called my husband and I to begin this adoption journey. I just have to keep reminding myself that He is present with us on this journey and has a perfect plan for our lives.

I wish you joy and peace over the holidays, especially if you are waiting to be blessed with a child. Remember to spend this waiting period wisely – in prayer and seeking God’s will for your life.

Sincerely,

A Hopeful Waiting Parent Who Understands

It's Getting Real!

Quick update!

Thankfully, the agency thought our adoption profile draft was wonderful and I only had to make a couple minor edits! I just ordered the physical copies to be sent to their office, which they'll receive next week. We now officially have entered the waiting period, woo hoo! After talking about having a child for so long I can't believe we finally got to this point. EEEEEEEK!!!! I'm so excited and nervous at the same time, mostly due to not knowing WHEN it will happen. But no matter how quick or long it takes, it will be perfect in God's time.

I am excited to be able to do our baby registry but I think it's a bit early for that...settle down, Melissa! :-)

Home Study and Adoption Profile Update

Hi Family and Friends!
Well, we are trucking right along with the adoption process. We had our final home study visit on August 25th and it went really well. This time the case worker finished asking Steve questions she had for him and did a walk-through of our house. It was much less a big deal than I thought it would be. I thought she was going to have to look in closets and drawers and all, but she didn't. So at least we still got to keep some of our privacy :-) During the visit we also found out that we need to have a will completed before we adopt. We of course expected to do that once we had a child but I guess we'll need to get on that next! 

We have been working on our adoption profile (click here for a reminder of what that is). It has been no small feat! HOURS AND HOURS were spent on crafting the letter to the expectant mother along with setting up a profile photo album using the Shutterfly website. I don't know how people create photo albums online for fun...what a pain in the butt getting everything laid out how I wanted it! It's pretty nerve racking trying to decide what you want to say to a mother as a prospective adoptive parent and find all the right photos that really tell the story of your life when you only have limited space to do so. So, what do we do? We pray for guidance. And God has definitely been helping with the whole process. Thank goodness, because we can't get through it without him! 

I just sent a draft of our profile album to the adoption agency. We're hoping we're on the right track. I'm worried they'll say we have too much narrative event though we tried to cut it down and it still might be too much, but I really hope not! It's hard to be picky with what to say because you want to make the best impression and make sure you're not leaving out anything that a birth mother could potentially connect with (no pressure!). Hopefully the agency will send feedback soon. As soon as the profile is 'approved' and copies are ordered, then we're officially ready to be matched. Keep in mind, it could take a couple years to get matched but at least we're getting closer! If you need a refresher on the adoption process and the lingo I'm using, refer back to my earlier blog post.

We'll let everyone know when our profile is final and in the hands of the agency. On a quick note, I want to thank all of our friends and family for being so supportive and always willing to lend an ear! It means a lot that you are so interested in learning about what we're going through! Love ya's!